What Kind of Woman Do I Want to Be?

Over the past few months, I have adopted a mantra for myself: "What kind of woman do you want to be?" It's something I ask myself whenever I'm faced with a tough decision, an out-of-control emotion or an impulse I know is unhealthy. 

This Friday is my 27th birthday. That fact, in and of itself, isn't that important. I'm not one of those girls who dreads -- or even pretend to dread -- turning a year older. I like celebrating my birthday, and I realize that 27 is still young. Besides, I feel pretty accomplished for my age: I'm doing well in the career I chose for myself, I am financially independent and I have wonderful friends, so I don't look at this year as a depressing milestone, a marker of time that has passed, potential wasted or opportunity squandered. 

But there is something different about this year. Usually, I start thinking of myself as older in the weeks leading up my birthday. When I was 25 years and 50 weeks old, I told people I was 26 -- it was more accurate and it felt right. It was an easy adjustment. But this year, I find myself hesitating. Whenever I tell someone I'm 27 it sounds odd -- somehow so much older than 26. 

In 27 years, I've had enough experiences to know who I'm not, but I don't yet know who I am or who I will become. Perhaps 27 is just an arbitrary number, but I do feel like I'm at some sort of crossroads, a point in my life between child and adult, between girl and woman, between who I am and who I'm going to be. 

And so I'm taking this birthday as an opportunity to think about that. To decide what kind of woman I want to become. I want to be the kind of woman who...

...listens to her heart but follows her gut.

...is slow to judge and quick to forgive.

...doesn't expect to be paid back.

...is happy for her friends no matter how she feels herself.

...accepts compliments and criticism with equal amounts of grace.

...listens.

...is patient.

...knows that heartbreak is a consequence of loving someone and chooses to love anyway.

...can say no to herself.

...chooses what is interesting over what is safe.

...understands that she may not be able to control the outcome, but she can control her reaction to it.

...always says "thank you."

...dances.

...counts her blessings.

...accepts that she cannot please everyone.

...is honest.

...makes a difference

...is always content but never satisfied.

...makes others laugh.

...greets every day with a smile.

...doesn't quit.

...trusts her own intelligence.

...looks people in the eye.

...gives good handshakes and hugs.

...is curious.

...makes an impression.

...enjoys each moment.

...learns from her mistakes.

As seen on The Huffington Post

What I Thought When I Watched Titanic at Age 12 vs. What I Thought When I Watched Titanic at Age 26

Age 12: Leo is such a heartthrob!

Age 26: Leo was so good in The Departed​.

12: Jack is so adventurous and romantic!

26: Jack should really get a job.

12: What does Rose mean when she says that woman is “in a delicate condition?”

26: Oh.

12: Cal is a jerk!

26: Cal is a stereotypical member of the 1%.

12: Jack is so in love with Rose!

26: Jack has got some serious game.

12: OMG! They showed Kate Winslet’s boobs!

26: Kate Winslet really does have an amazing set of boobs.

12: Rose and Jack are so in love!

26: Rose and Jack have only known each other for 24 HOURS!

12: Cal’s footman is so mean!

26: Cal’s footman is a certified psychopath. They should make an entire movie about him.

12: Jack would never have stolen the necklace, Rose. You have to believe him!

26: I wouldn’t have trusted him either, Rose. BECAUSE YOU’VE ONLY KNOWN HIM 24 HOURS!

12: Wow! They steamed up that car! How romantic!

26: The physics of that just doesn’t make any sense.

12: Watching this ship sink is so scary!

26: Watching this ship sink in 3D is f***ing terrifying.

12: It’s so sad when Jack dies! I’m crying my eyes out!

26: It’s so sad when the old couple, and the mother with her children, and the captain, and Mr. Andrews die. I’m crying my eyes out!

12: “My Heart Will Go On” is my FAVORITE song!

26: “My Heart Will Go On” is a great song to sing at karaoke.

12: Why didn’t get Jack get on the board? There was so much room!

26: Why didn’t get Jack get on the board? There was so much room!

12: If only Jack had lived, he and Rose could have gotten married!​

26: If Jack had lived, he would have gotten fed up with Rose’s helplessness in about six months.

12: Old Rose threw the necklace into the water so it could be with Jack!

26: Old Rose just threw her granddaughter’s inheritance into the ocean for no reason.

12: This is SUCH a good movie!

26: This is SUCH a good movie!

Also seen on The Huffington Post